Coco, I thought this was a really interesting story! Thinking about “what” this story is, I would say it is the story of unrequited love or the reality of grieving someone still living. The amount of descripton ou used in the story really drove it forward for me. It felt like in cerain points I could picture myself in the place of narrator. The tension between their relationship was there through the descriptors as well. I think my main suggestion moving forward would be to dig into Tatiana’s character. I was curious to learn more about possibly how the narrators met her/their initial connection before these two weeks. Also, a little more of her reaction in the moments the narrator admits their feeling. Doing so I think could heighten the tension more between the characters and develop their relationship. Turning the dials up on the characters anxiety/motivation to shift as well. I think the shift or wha changed for the character was something else I was looking for. By the end, it feels like our character hasn’t arched very much from their original state. Or, that potential change isn’t full laid out. I’m wondering if adding slightly more to the end would alleviate that.
Journal #20 (WRT-312)
