Dear Cammy,
This is the story of a main character named April living with the guilt of her past mistakes. More specifically, allowing her partner to take the fall for a crime so she can pursue her future. I liked how you opened the story in the middle of a moment that effects the rest of the story. It’s a good hook to make a reader want to know more of what’s happening. I do wish there was a little more to it, though. By this I mean set the scene a little more for the reader by describing where this conversation is taking place, or how the police got them in the first place. My reasoning behind this suggestion is that this moment you open with is the crux to the conflict/big dramatic question for the entire story. Spend some time unpacking it! I enjoyed the voice you gave the character as it leaned in to what their personality is like in subtle ways. The internal monologue seemed to drive a good portion of the story forward so its descriptiveness helped. I think if I had one overarching suggestion (that ties with what I was saying earlier) it would be to slow down in between periods of time or scenes. In some moments, it feels like a lot of ground is covered without a lot of description on what that time was like. I’m curious to know more about what this character was like in the everyday interaction dealing with such guilt. You give us a bit of that in the descriptions, but I want to be told more than shown.
