Jordyn: First off, I love the angle to this story. Being a previous psychology major, I completely agree with the idea that the things you take away from the classroom can be applied in life. It made me think of the time I took Abnormal Psychology and learned a lot more about myself and how to deal with my own mental health. Your paper flows well and it introduces a deep background into McCrays life. When I was a psych major, I had met McCray a few times as a future faculty advisor. You really display her bubbly personality though the quotes you use and shows how she is also well spoken. I found her job history really interesting and can show students how careers are never a direct path. I think the inclusion you have of a student quote is worked in well, it’d be interesting to maybe get an interview from her advisees. I like the quote you ended on and maybe touch into more for your conclusion how psychology can create a more empathetic human being. Overall, this is a great start off to a interesting story.
Bridget: Another super interesting story for today. You do a great job of being removed from the story (being a transfer student yourself) and portraying who Heeley is. There is a humane side to this story that looks into his passions and dreams, and how those have tied into his career today. I thought that this connection was super impressive to bring together. Also, how the program at UNE has transitioned with his help. The reliability that he able to bring from transferring three times during his undergrad strengthens the credibility and shows students how he himself can relate. I think it would be interesting to look more into how other transfer students have worked with Heeley, or another Admissions staff member. One suggestion is copy editing wise, to read over and make sure that grammatical errors are fixed. I think you’re on a great path to an interesting and even thought provoking story. I myself remember thinking about the idea of transferring freshman year before finding the reason and fit to stay at UNE. I think the way he explains the “right fit” for an undergrad is so relatable to students today.
