Maddie:
I really like the topic you’re writing about, simple and very relatable to just about everyone who’s had a roommate in college. There’s a sense of humor to the piece and it’s a light read which I found enjoyable. I think your idea of the story and touching on the importance of communication is great. Also, including how you can speak from experience on this situation makes it that much more reliable. The conversational tone to the piece is also something I found enjoyable. There are only a few small errors to the piece and its mostly formatting/grammatical stuff. When introducing new people and quotes, they need to be put into their own paragraph. Also, I think you could split up some of these paragraphs in general. It’s good writing, it just reads more as an essay than a news story at the moment. Overall, I think you’re right on track in terms of your content and just need to make those few changes within your format.
Jordan:
This is a really well put together piece. Obviously, you are speaking from your own experience. Therefore you are able to present the audience with an in depth explanation of Digispace that truly does it justice. I myself, did not really understand as to what Digispace was before reading this piece. Afterwards I feel more confident in knowing what it is and what it provides for students. Your formatting is good, I think you can take the first two mini paragraphs and combine them. I think it would just flow better if those two both equally important sentences went together to “set the stage”. One other thing that I think you could add to the piece is a quote from a fellow Digi team member. The quotes you include from Gennaco are important for background and purpose. I think a student quote would be great for reliable testimony, considering I know you work in the Digi space yourself and could likely get one. I think a combination of your own experience, Gennaco, and a fellow student would tie up this piece well.
